addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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