Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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