i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
