Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
