Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
