It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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