Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
