You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He? As in you personified your dick?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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