i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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