I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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