just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
