OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize