I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize