do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
