i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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