I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
