dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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