True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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