I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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