We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
