You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
