He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
