Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
