we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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