Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
