we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
