OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
