Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
