I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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