Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
