I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
