therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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