she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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