we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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