At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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