I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
