I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
