"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
