her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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