I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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