people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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