Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
