u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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