someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
