Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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