So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
