margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
