i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
