His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
