Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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