do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
