Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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