Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
