someone get that fucking seahorse.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
