I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
