Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize