the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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