OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
