We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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