shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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