I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
