u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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