Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
